Pretty sure we have a tui mimicking the sound of a car door unlocking

CEOs and politicians moaning about low productivity and bludgers is like kind of like if my flatmate cat started complaining about how there's too much fur on my floor or how there's too many cute little guys.

I dudn't know Margaret Thatcher was taller than me and I don't know how to feel about it... at least she's 12' shorter than me now though

The Whitakers Oat chocolate is more an improvement on dark chocolate than a vegan replica of Dairy Milk.

The lines "I'm not threatened by no gays, I give them AKs" go so hard

trying to explain to a dude who doesn't speak english why I'm doing press ups at work is hard.

err - kinda gross sex joke... 

Here's a tip: If you're a bussy enthusiast you can proclaim 'bugger!' in covert celebration in situations where you're secretly very happy that a bad thing happened.

It really is too bad we can't export things that the nations we want to export to don't already produce a surplus of.

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I love that the New Zealand Agriculture industry approach to expansion is just to like walk up to a country, say 'hey, you... do you want beef and cheese' and when that country says 'no actually we have some' they're just like 'okay... well if you make ours cheaper then you can have ours???'

I hope that the Countdown online shopping people are doing silly substitutes on purpose just to mess with us and not because they have a hostile work environment that creates obstacles to good decisions

Just got polled by Roy Morgan. First time being polled, not fun...

A fresh but discarded lookinh KN95 is a good place to stash ca$h it would seem.

Energy levels = up
Depression= who?
Strength= noticable increase

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Man - growing up I always thought 'exercise' was when you like committed to like fucking destroying yourself for a couple of hours. But, I've been doing a couple of things regularly throughout the day lately to get my heart pounding and then like a 15 minute session at home followed with after dins yoga and it is so good!

Al Dee boosted

Friend out of nowhere: "I just don't get it!"
Me: ...
Friend: "Don't you dare explain it"
Me: "Don't get what?"
Friend: "This idea of Einstein's"
Me: .... "The general theoty of relativity?"
Friend: "Yes, and don't you fuckig dare try to explain!"

I can now comfortably do 10 press up in a set everytime... trans athletic supremacy here I come.

Also did you know you can sub butter milk with oat milk and some vinegar? Better living everyone.

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I've been experimenting with making American 'biscuits' and holy shit they're yum.

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An NZ hosted Mastodon instance. For all Kiwis and aspiring New Zealanders! Monthly image by @swansinflight